Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
