he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
