even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
