You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
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$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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