moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
