This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
