Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
