Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
