We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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