I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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