so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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