I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
