they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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