the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
is wine microwaveable?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
