I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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