FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
