threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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