I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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