Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
