right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
