Whod you bang
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
