is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
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I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
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I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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