I heard we made out
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
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She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
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I just had sex on a roof
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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