Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Randomize
