We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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