therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
