Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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