Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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