im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
