The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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