On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
