Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
