Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Boobs are out for the taking
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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