my mouth tastes like poor choices
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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