question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
