I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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