i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
