hotel room ftw
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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