Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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