so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Randomize
