You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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