You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
