I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
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Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
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Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The Olympian is in my bed
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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