He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
