The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
