Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
