So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
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If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
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The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have post one night stand depression
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