Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
