when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
