Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
