Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
