We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
