are you still at the devil's house?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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