Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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