And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
