Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
