problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
