So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
