And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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