I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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