Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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