God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
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Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a fireplace last night.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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