she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
